Your brain is brilliant. It works beautifully for you. It’s helped you create this incredible life and achieve all the success you have. It’s no surprise you’re relying on it to find your life partner.
But finding your life partner is a whole-body experience. It’s going to take more than just your brain to find them — it’s going to take all of you.
Here’s why you’ll never find him if you’re stuck in your head.
Your head is not reality – it makes stuff up
Your human brain is the most powerful tool on this planet. It’s so powerful that it can make up wild stories that feel like reality. These stories are often formulated from the primal fear-based part of your brain, and aren’t useful.
You might see this come up for you when a new potential partner does something to trigger a painful memory from your past. Say one of your exes was verbally abusive when he drank alcohol. You’re out on a first date and your date orders a beer. Your brain suddenly becomes alert to potential danger. Before you even have the chance to get to know this man further, your brain is off creating wild stories about how he’s verbally abusive just like your ex.
Without even realizing it, you shut the door on a potential relationship because of a made-up story, and not facts. These false stories keep you from pursuing potential relationships.
It’s important to use the primal part of your brain to keep you alert and safe – but be there to override it when it starts running wild with stories that aren’t based in reality.
Sensations live in the body – this is where you connect to reality
How do you know where reality stops, and your imagination starts? Your sensations – sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Sensations start in your body and are triggered by some external stimuli. These sensations give you information about the reality of your outside world.
In order to get to know the actual person in front of you, you have to get out of your head and into your body. This is where your sensations are.
Let’s go back to the first date where he ordered a beer. What are the facts here, given to you by your sensations? He probably said a few words to the waitress when he ordered, and likely you (sound). You probably saw him take a few sips when the beer came (sight). That’s about it. These are the facts.
Is it possible that this person could also be verbally abusive like your ex? Of course. Is it possible that he’s not? Absolutely. The difference now is that instead of defaulting to old ways of thinking that might keep you from what you want, you now have a choice – to go on a second date, or not.
Emotions live in the body – they clue you in to what you’re thinking
When you’re stuck in your head, you’re thinking thoughts. Each thought produces a corresponding emotion. For example, “This date was great” creates a very different emotion than “This date was terrible.”
Your emotions give you feedback on what you’re thinking. In order to receive that feedback, you have to drop out of your head and into your body. This is where your emotions are.
For example, back on that first date, say you start to feel apprehensive. If you’re not stuck in your head, you’ll notice the apprehension. You can investigate it – is this apprehension based in fact or story? Are you making something up, or is this person really someone to close the door on?
Your whole body is brilliant – use it
Don’t limit yourself to your brain. Use your entire body to find your life partner. You’re going to need it.
I’ve designed a 6-week program around this principle of using your whole body to find your life partner. Check it out HERE – if you think you might be interested, you’ll be able to schedule a free consultation with me.