By the time you take care of daily life, go to work, and see the people and animals you love, the last thing you want to do with your precious time is sift through no’s. Even worse, spending an evening with someone you’d never end up with sounds like a complete waste of time.
This is one perspective. Let me offer another. Tell yourself the truth. You have time to do anything you want. You just don’t want to spend your time dating because of how you’re choosing to think about it.
You Have Time, Just Like Everyone Else
Time is constant for everyone. You can measure it. We all get 24 hours in the day. If you’re alive and breathing, you have the same amount of time as everyone else. “I don’t have time…” in and of itself is a lie. As a grown adult, you get to spend your time any way you want. You have time to date; you just choose to not spend it dating. That’s the truth.
This Lie Keeps You Stuck and “Safe”
There’s a very good reason you keep telling yourself that you don’t have time to date. There’s something about dating that you have decided is undesirable. Your brain is doing its job to keep you from dating, because it knows that where you are is safe.
What about dating is undesirable to you? Be honest with yourself in your answer.
- Maybe it’s the potential for rejection.
- Maybe you don’t think he’s out there and dating is a waste of time.
- Maybe it’s the possibility that he could be the one and the changes that poses to your life now.
Whatever it is, take a look at what story you’re telling yourself about dating. Nothing has gone wrong here. Your brain is doing its job: to keep you safe. The only problem, in this case, is that there isn’t any real danger.
Thoughts like, “I don’t have time to date,” sound nice. They sound helpful. They sound like you’re telling yourself the truth and justifying your actions. But in reality, this thought keeps you stuck and not moving forward. When you believe you don’t have time to date, you don’t make time to date.
Check Your Assumptions
Hidden within this statement is the assumption that you have to date to find your life partner. This is another lie. You don’t have to date to find your partner. I didn’t.
I knew my husband in college; he reached out to me on facebook messenger. We never went on a single date. We both just knew. After 10 years of suffering in love, it was the most effortless thing I have ever experienced. It can be that easy. So can dating.
You can date if you want to. You can not date if you don’t want to. If you choose to date, love your reasons. Date because it’s fun to meet new people. Date because it feels amazing to be adored. Date to get better clarity on who you are and what you want – the “bad dates” show you what you don’t want.
There are as many ways to find a life partner as there are people in this world. If you don’t want to date, look to your heart for answers; look to your imagination for alternatives. You will find him. You have all the time in the world.
Let me help you use your time in the most productive way possible. Let me share my proven tools to help you find your life partner. Start now with a free consultation.