In your twenties, you watched as your friends got married. You went to their weddings and smiled in their pictures and said sappy things. You were genuinely happy for them, but couldn’t help but notice the pool of available men getting smaller.
Now you can’t go on social media without seeing a post about someone getting pregnant or having a baby or some cliché photo shoot of their child. In the back of your mind, your brain offers a warning… I’m falling behind.
You are not and never will be the settling kind. But as you watch the women around you marry up the pool of eligible men while you yourself stay reliably single, that sneaky thought starts to creep in.
I have to settle.
Let’s be clear. You do not have to settle.
The thought, I have to settle, pretends to be useful. This thought may feel like you’re telling yourself the truth. After all, the pool of men is getting smaller.
I’ll share what I told my best friend when she offered me this as evidence for settling. It’s the same perspective I used on myself when I caught my brain offering me something similar.
Yes, the pool of eligible men is getting smaller. Other women are marrying them up. And that’s AMAZING. Because they’re marrying all the men that aren’t yours!! You now have fewer dweebs to sift and sort through!
Thank you, other women! For sifting through the massive pool of eligible men so that I don’t have to. The pool is shrinking, leaving it easier for you to find your guy.
Thoughts like, I have to settle, don’t serve you.
Thoughts like, “I have to settle” do not serve you. They cause you to feel discouraged and letdown. Feelings like this drive you to not show up as your awesome self on dates, or in your life.
Actions like this lead you to settle for being less than the amazing woman that you are –therefore attracting a man who’s less than what you want.
Choose to believe that he exists and you can find him.
There’s a good reason that your brain is offering you the thought, “I have to settle”. It thinks it’s telling you the truth and keeping you safe.
Ironically, the truth is that this is a lie. Let your brain is wrong about that. The truth is, you get to believe anything you want. Believing that your ideal partner exists in the world is just as accessible – and just as real – as choosing to believe that he does not.
Here’s a hint.
If you’re struggling to believe that your person exists, try this.
Focus your brain on something you do believe. Like: It’s possible that my ideal partner is out there. It’s possible that I could find him. Then build from there.
Just stop with the sucky lies.
There’s as much proof in the world that your partner does exist as there is that he doesn’t – which is none. That’s right. There is absolutely NO evidence in the world that you have to settle. You made all of it up.
Make something else up. Make something up that serves you. How about, “He does exist, and I’m going to find him.”
I help stubbornly single women find their ideal partners. It’s not a matter of whether your person exists, it’s whether you believe he does. My program is designed to uncover limiting beliefs like this so you can get out of your way and onto finding the love of your life.
Schedule a free consultation and we’ll chat about how I can help you do that.