It’s normal to hold back. It’s normal to want to protect yourself from the unknown world around you. It’s normal to go into first dates with hesitation – because every relationship before it ended in some sort of less than desirable way.
It’s normal – but that doesn’t mean it’s helping you find your soulmate.
You hold back the deeper parts of yourself to keep them safe. The irony in this is that these are the parts of you that your soulmate is going to fall in love with. Because they’re you.
If you’re not willing to expose the deeper parts of you to the world around you, then he’s never going to know who’s really in there.
You have to go first.
I hear so many women say that they’ll open up as soon as the man “proves himself”. As if your heart is a prize he needs to earn.
You are not a prize.
You’re a beautiful human being shining her light in this world. When you dim your light by keeping parts of you hidden, you attract dimmer men. When you let your light shine for all who can see it, you blind everyone in the world but the one who really sees you.
You have to go first. You have to be brave. You have to expose all of you to the world, and let everyone but him not want it.
Otherwise you’re a hypocrite.
Let’s get this straight. You’re showing up closed off and guarded, waiting for him to be open and vulnerable so he can prove himself worthy? Something doesn’t sound quite right here…
As strong, independent women who demands equality in every aspect of life, there seems to be a double standard here.
If you’re not willing to show up with an open heart, ready to share all of you, you can’t expect him to do the same. To attract the type of man you want, you must first demonstrate what that looks like.
Because the worst thing that can happen is a feeling.
When you offer up all of you – by showing up in the world exactly as you are – the worst thing that can happen is a feeling. It’s not rejection or a breakup or a bad first date. It’s the emotion you experience by what you make that mean.
I’ll let you in on a secret – you can handle emotions. Emotions will not harm you if you’re willing to feel them all the way through.
Show up as all of you so he can see that it’s you.
If you pretend to be less than or different than who you are, you’re going to attract someone who likes you for who you’re not.
On the other hand, when you show up in the world as your crazy, beautiful, unapologetic self, you attract a man who loves your crazy, beautiful – unapologetically.
It just so happens that I specialize in helping women like you show up in the world as all of you, so you attract a partner who loves you for all of you. It’s so simple, yet we somehow manage to make it so complicated. Let me help you make it simple.
Get on my calendar for free and let’s chat about how we can make that happen for you.