According to WeddingWire’s 2020 Newlywed Report, the most popular month to get engaged is December – by far. 19% of the entire year’s engagements happen this month.
This can be good news… if you’re dating hopeful Mr. Forever.
If not, this can make December the most annoying time of year to be single and still searching. While everyone around you is cozying up with their significant other, you’re stuck with the endless supply of Hallmark movies and constant reminder that you’re still single.
Instead of hoping this love season comes and goes as quickly as possible so you can get back to the distraction of work and friends, I want you to use this time to get honest with yourself about what you want.
What do you want? Get quiet with yourself and answer this question honestly. Let yourself be afraid of the answer. Be willing to hear the truth that lives inside of you. Give yourself that.
Let’s explore some answers to this question. See which one resonates with you.
1. I don’t want a life partner – and that’s ok
I first want to acknowledge the fact that maybe you don’t want a life partner. Sit with that for a minute. Let the possibility of that sink in. Not because you don’t think he exists, or he’s too hard to find; because you genuinely don’t want one.
You get to want whatever you want just because. There’s no right or wrong way to live your life, only the way you want to live it. Let it be ok if you don’t want a life partner. You are whole and complete just as you are. Your life is enough just as it is.
There was a time in my life when I loved being single. I wanted to be single. Having adventures and meeting new men were more exciting to me than settling down with one person. Maybe you feel the same way. This feeling may last months, years, or the rest of your life – just be honest with yourself about where you are now.
2. I want a life partner, but something feels off
Most of you are here. You’re at the point in your life where you’re ready to settle down with the right one. You’ve been out in the world, and you’ve dated. A lot. You know what you want, and you know what you don’t want. You’re just not 100% there yet.
This is most likely because you’re living by someone else’s rules. Society has a lot of ideas about love and marriage. Most of them suck. These show up as “shoulds.”
- You should get married
- You should have kids
- You should be married with kids by now
These are all bullshit ideas that drown out the wisdom of your heart.
What you want deep in your heart never feels off. What feels off is when your head tries to convince you that you should want something different than what your heart wants.
Your heart never lies. It always tells the truth. Listen to it.
3. I want a life partner – and I’m all in
Finding your life partner is like doing a back flip – you can’t do it halfway or you’ll land on your head. You have to go all in. To go all in, you have to know deep within you that this is what you want.
You cannot genuinely want something that you do not have the ability to create in your life. If you want it in your soul, you have the ability to create it in your life.
This is why it’s so important to get clear on what you want.
It doesn’t matter what you want, just tell yourself the truth about it
You get to want whatever you want in your life. No one can take that from you. You have a guidance system deep within you that’s always pointing you home. Listen to it. Ignore the noise around you, and listen to your own heart.
What do you want?
Maybe you want to be single a while longer. Maybe you know you want a life partner, but have a few you things to work on first. Maybe you’ve done the work and you’re all in ready.
Whatever your answer, tell yourself the truth about it.
If you’re still not sure, I’d love to help you separate your inner truth from the noise. Schedule a free consultation with me and I’ll share more on how we can work together.