You just got back from a date. It went fine. He exhibited no obvious red flags. He was nice, but there were some things you noticed that made you realize he’s not your guy.
You know it’s time to say goodbye.
That familiar feeling of discomfort starts to creep up at the very thought of it.
Not to worry. This is totally normal, and there’s a very simple solution. Read on to find out how to say goodbye without feeling bad about it.
Know What You’re Making “Goodbye” Mean
The only reason you feel bad about saying goodbye is because of the way you’re thinking about it. And you have 100% control over that.
Does any of this sound familiar?
The Doubter
You know he’s not the one, yet you question whether you’ll be able to find someone better. You start to convince yourself that you should stay; that you want to be with this person, when the truth is you don’t.
Saying goodbye feels bad because you’re making it mean that you won’t be able to find your person.
This isn’t true at all. You are always capable of finding your ideal life partner. In fact, the only way to not find your life partner is to spend your time with someone who’s not him.
The Judger
You make saying goodbye mean that you’re judging the other person as not good enough for you. After all, your date is a really nice guy. Most women would do anything to have a nice guy.
Goodbye feels bad because you’re judging your date, then telling yourself you shouldn’t judge people.
Here’s the deal. Everyone is equally and infinitely lovable and worthy, regardless of what you think about them. Instead of seeing goodbye as a judgement of whether your date is “good enough”, instead see it as a simple observation that he’s not what you’re looking for in a life partner. Your date is just as lovable and worthy as he was before he went on the date with you; you simply now know he’s not your guy.
The Fixer
You make goodbye mean that you’re giving up on the person. You tell yourself that they don’t deserve that, that you shouldn’t give up on someone you love.
This feels terrible because you’re looking at this person as a project, not a partner.
Your life partner isn’t a project that needs fixing, he’s a whole and complete human being that deserves loving, just as he is. If the person in front of you isn’t what you want in a life partner, just as he is, saying goodbye is the kindest thing you could do for him (and yourself).
Know Why You’re Doing It and Love Your Reasons
When you’re debating telling a potential partner that you’re no longer interested, ask yourself why you’re doing it. If you like the answer, carry on.
Telling someone the truth about who you are and what you want is the greatest gift you can give them… even if the truth is goodbye.
One final piece to know is that you can’t do harm when it’s done from love.
Say Goodbye From Love
Loving someone is always ok.
You can love someone and say goodbye at the same time.
Sometimes love looks like, “I had a great time, but you’re not what I’m looking for in a life partner.”
In my program, Find Your Life Partner, I help successful women navigate the dating world, to include knowing when to move on, and how to say goodbye.
Schedule a free consultation and we’ll chat about how my program applies to you and your unique situation. Talk soon.