We’ve all been there… the unsolicited dick pic, the drama king who requires more energy than he’s worth, the date who commits then backs out last minute.
In the dating world, these types of behaviors are commonly referred to as “red flags.” If you’ve been dating more than a minute, you’ve experienced at least one of them.
But did you know that these red flags can be easily spotted?
What are red flags?
Red flags are warning signs that this person isn’t ready for, interested in, or capable of a healthy life partnership. Men who display red flag behavior are often focused on what you can do for them, and not on getting to know you as a potential life partner.
Here’s how to know a red flag when you see one, and what to do about it.
1. Pay Attention to His Behavior
As the superior gender (I jest, a little…), we women tend to see the best in everyone. This can lead us to sometimes overlook red flags. But when it comes to your life partner, we want him to display zero red flags. That’s right, zero.
Therefore, I want you to pay attention to his behavior, and believe him when he shows you who he is. I don’t care what you think his potential is; I care about the man sitting in front of you.
When his behavior centers around him and his needs, and not getting to know you as a person, you’re working with a red flag.
Some common red flags include:
- Looking for a quick hookup
- Only interested in talking about himself
- Finds your buttons and pushes them
Does he ask for naked photos? Does he talk for more than 5 minutes without engaging you in the conversation? Does he say controversial or unkind things to elicit a response from you?
Be willing to pay attention to how your date is behaving, and be willing to call the red flag out for what it is.
2. Clarify with Questions
If you’ve been burned a few times by red flags, it’s possible that you could be triggered by behavior that isn’t actually a red flag.
For example, I had a client who received a kissing face emoji from a potential partner she hadn’t seen in person yet. To her, this was a huge red flag. After some coaching, she decided to clarify by asking him what he’d meant by the emoji. She explained that to her the emoji was forward and suggestive.
He responded with embarrassment and apologized profusely – he thought he was being friendly, and hadn’t meant anything sexual by it.
When the brain isn’t sure, it makes up a story. If you’re not sure of the intention behind a behavior, ask! The response will either confirm or alleviate your suspicions.
3. Trust Your Instincts
When it doubt, trust your instincts. You always know what’s best for you.
You know the difference between when a man is interested in you, and when he’s only interested in what you can do for him. Don’t ever lie to yourself about that.
When you’re looking for a life partner, men who display red flag behaviors are timewasters. Eliminate them immediately – at the first red flag. Not the second, or third, or fourth. The first.
As part of my program, Find Your Life Partner, I help successful women detect red flag behavior, so they can eliminate timewasters and focus their energy on men who are genuinely interested in them.
Are you ready to eliminate timewasters from your life?