It hurts my soul to admit this, but I think I have disconnected from one of my favorite things: humor. How did this happen? When did I become an adult and stop laughing so much? Why did becoming an adult mean I had to stop laughing?
I grew up surrounded by laughter. When I reflect on my childhood, love and laughter are the first two words to surface. Where did I go wrong? When did I get so serious? As Russel Brand put it in Deepak Chopra’s Infinite Potential podcast, “there are many things that are serious, but we don’t have to be solemn about them.”
In subtle ways, the universe has been nudging me back towards humor. I love how, if we pay attention, the universe provides us with all the messages we need. I also love how it persists whether we’re paying attention or not. Today’s message is to rekindle my relationship with humor.
Psychology Today talks a little bit about the science of what makes something funny, suggesting that it’s the act of violating expectations that makes the joke impactful.
There’s something artfully forbidden about humor – humor is an art that requires courage. We’ve all known a class clown who has exploited this to disrupt a classroom. For the class clown who dares to step outside the defined classroom structure and succeeds at producing laughter, awaits the appreciation and respect of the students and (if done properly) teacher alike.
Let’s be honest – we all love to laugh.
That’s what makes humor such a powerful tool for good. It’s universal; it connects, it heals, and it keeps us real.
Humor Connects
Humor and its elixir byproduct, laughter, connect all of humanity.
It’s a Communication Tool
Humor has this mysterious ability to connect otherwise unrelated or irrelevant topics to tell a powerful story in a way humorless words cannot. It also has the unique ability to reach niche crowds. As an example, those of us who are put off by politics can often stomach it when packaged with humor – perhaps because the humor points directly to the insanity of it all.
Late night show hosts are great examples of this (Stephen Colbert is one of my favorites). These unlikely geniuses scour the world’s stories; they relate and package them with just enough truth to poke at our soft spots and tug at our humanity in real and impactful ways. All while showing us a great time.
If that’s not power, my friends, I’m not sure what is.
It’s a Universal Human Language
Humor is one of those universal human languages – others include emotion, body language, and images. Sure, it’s told with words, but it doesn’t have to be. My favorite type of humor is situational. And let’s not forget sarcasm – someone could be speaking a foreign language and any astute listener will still pick up on sarcasm.
To that point, the power of a universal language is just that: it requires no language! Think back to the silent era of films. We still had comedies! The legend of the three stooges lives on today.
It Forms Bonds within Families
I mentioned that I grew up with laughter. I think this is one of the strongest bonds that my family and I share.
I grew up in a traditional midwestern subdivision. Our yard backed up to our neighbors’ and our street was lined with similar single-family homes. In the warmer months, we would leave our windows open and voices would undoubtedly drift in and out of each others’ homes.
My sister and I had a monopoly over the babysitting market in our subdivision. One day, the parents of two kids we babysat for stopped by. We exchanged the usual pleasantries, but one thing the father said has stuck with me all these years. He asked, jokingly, “Do you guys just sit around and tickle each other all day? There’s a lot of laughter coming from this house!”
At seventeen, this struck me as an odd statement but now I hold it very dear to my heart. I’m so grateful to have been raised surrounded by humor and have a great deal of compassion for those who weren’t afforded the same opportunity.
It Forms Bonds Amongst Strangers
Have you ever laughed and locked eyes with a complete stranger who’s laughing too? In that instant you share a mutual understanding of why this thing is hilarious. In that moment nothing else is relevant except the joy of the experience.
It Diffuses Awkward
How about when a situation gets awkward? Humor is one of the best (and safest) ways to diffuse an awkward or tense situation.
Speaking of safety, this brings us to our next point.
Humor Heals
“Laughter… is universal, primal, and seriously infectious, but in a good way. Laughter heals; it makes you feel better, chemically speaking. But it also does something even more amazing. It changes our minds by opening the door to a new perspective – on yourself and the world.”
Deepak Chopra
I love this statement so much. What Deepak is getting at is that, yes, humor heals in a very physical way, but what’s even more profound are the mental benefits. In a way, humor is a window into a different dimension. A dimension that can’t be thought, only felt. After all… we do call it a “sense” of humor.
Humor Heals the Body
As Deepak alluded to, there’s a very physical element to humor. In my article, How I Stay Happy, I talk about some of the physical benefits of humor and more specifically, laughter. These include increased oxygen in the body, a boost of endorphins, increased blood circulation, and muscle relaxation. Sounds wonderful, right? Laughter actually gives us a “high”! Plus these conditions are all healing for the body – double win!
Humor Heals the Mind
It has the power to end conflict.
Similarly to how humor diffuses an awkward situation, it can also diffuse conflict. My husband, Drew, and I have experienced this recently.
These past weeks, we’ve taken to humor to end arguments. We went on a walk the other day and I may have been a little on the crabby side. I essentially spent the walk “pooping” on all his ideas. Our dog, Maize, was with us and, as dogs do, he did his “business” on our walk. For a large golden retriever, Drew commented on the disproportionate size of the business.
We carried on, me still being crabby, and it didn’t take long for Drew to call me out. Despite my poor mood, I had the awareness to tell him to say something funny to help bring me out of it. This is what he said: “Oh yeah? Okay.. We went on a walk. Maize pooped a little and Megan pooped a lot.”
Bad mood gone.
It has the power to expand your perspective.
When presented with a sad (for humanity) scenario, I often offer myself the option to either cry or laugh, the context weighing heavily on my decision. If the context allows for humor, I always choose to laugh.
I’ll share a recent example that many of you will likely relate to.
It was about 5pm. I’d just gotten off work and stopped by the grocery store on the way home to pick up that week’s groceries. Now depending on when you’re reading this, things may (and hopefully) have changed, but we are currently in full Coronavirus pandemic “flatten the curve” mode. Aka we’re all stuck at home and people have started to get a little weird.
This particular instance was early on when many had started to panic and I hadn’t gone to the store yet. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. As I did my shopping, I relaxed a bit. Things seemed quite normal. People going about their business, the occasional mask or two, etc.
Next on the list: toilet paper. I turned down the paper aisle. Quite the scene (or lack thereof) met my eyes. What is normally lined with stacks of paper products was now a completely empty aisle. The only paper in the whole aisle was a sign that read: “Please limit one per person.”
In that moment, I had two choices: (1) to panic, or (2) to see the humor of it. I’m not sure how or why, but the moment struck me as absolutely hilarious. Maybe it was the fact that toilet paper was the item of choice for panic-stricken hoarders. Maybe it was the anxiety that had slowly been building inside of me. Maybe it was the relief in seeing my fears materialize and realizing that I can handle them.
Whatever it was, I started laughing. And I didn’t stop. That laughter transformed my entire grocery-shopping experience. Yes, the situation we are in is sad and serious. But it doesn’t have to be solemn. Laughter expanded my mind from my narrow bathroom needs to the fact that we’re all in this crazy thing together. And we all share the basic need to wipe our rear ends.
Humor Keeps it Real
“Humor doesn’t respect the boundaries of reality.”
Russel Brand
It Brings Us Back
Humor blasts through social norms, conditioning, and injustices. It cares nothing of etiquette or points of view. It has no respect for authority and couldn’t care less what you find offensive. It has no favorites, takes no side, and leaves no survivors. Humor has no agenda but to expose the truth. It’s ruthless and brutal and real.
Humor brings us back to reality; it guides us home.
For that short burst of joy when we’re roaring with laughter or appreciating the word play at work, we see. See into the fabric of reality and see that it’s not made up of shapes and colors and opinions and ideas. It’s made of pure connection and consciousness and love.
It Aids in Creation
Step 4 of my four-step formula for how to create the life of your dreams is the “seal the deal” step. It entails letting go of whatever thoughts we’re clinging to… so the universe can do its job and work for us. It’s the easiest step because it requires absolutely no effort on our part, but for some reason we humans have the hardest time with it.
Humor offers an easy way to let go. It distracts us from holding on too tightly to our dreams by bringing our attention back to the present moment in a completely joyful way.
What Is Life If You Can’t Laugh at Yourself
One of the most powerful ways to use humor is to laugh at yourself. Not to belittle or put down, but to empower. Taking life too seriously? Use humor to call yourself out. Botch that last performance? Use humor to redirect your thoughts to what matters.
I’ll leave you with one last quote from Brand. He summarizes the power of humor far more eloquently than I could.
“I think that all humor is underwritten by our mutual awareness that the reality we are living in is not ‘the reality’ – it’s not real. We know this on some level… Through comedy you can just for a moment touch that; you can make a connection with that awareness… and the laughter is the consequence of that temporary illumination, of that temporary connection.”
Russel Brand
Well said, Mr. Brand.
Thanks for visiting! How’d you like this post? Share a comment or contact me! Oh… and don’t forget to laugh 🙂