As a successful woman, you’re used to using your big brain to create success in your life. You know exactly what to say and do to influence the people around you.
But relationships are emotional, and the type of relationship you’re after is built on that raw emotion of love. That emotion comes from authentic, genuine attraction. He either likes you for you, or he doesn’t.
Therefore, when it comes to finding your ideal life partner, I want you to be less focused on what you need to do, and more focused on how you feel when you do it.
This keeps you focused on what you want
When you’re focused on what you should do, you’re prescribing to a set of rules that are likely written by someone else.
For example, say you’ve prescribed to the rule, the man should pay for the meal. This is an expectation that’s been shaped by society. What if you don’t want him to pay for the meal? Maybe you enjoy being generous, or want to split the bill.
When you’re focused on what to do or how to behave, you can easily lose sight of what you genuinely want to do.
This helps you show up as you
When you behave in a way that’s consistent with how you want to behave, you show up as you.
When you show up as you, it always feels amazing.
Say you have a first date at a nice restaurant, and you decide that you want to pay for it. You’ve worked hard for your money, you had the best time with your date, and you want to express that by paying for it. This decision feels amazing to you – like generosity and abundance.
Instead of focusing on what you should do, you’re instead focused on how you feel – generous. Which has you showing up as your authentic self.
This ensures the men you attract are attracted to the real you
Let’s keep playing with this example. You offer to pay for the meal out of generosity. Your date reacts by being offended, and is insulted that you would emasculate him in this way.
This man, my beautiful powerful friend, is not your guy. We do not want him. We want him to be repelled by this demonstration of your confidence and independence. Byeeee.
On the other hand, say instead your date is wowed by your boldness. This strength-independence power combo paired with the vulnerability and authenticity you showed at dinner are a huge turn-on.
These are the type of men that you want to be attracting! The ones who are turned on by your success; who love that you show up as you without apology.
Feel, then act
How do you want to feel on dates? Decide that ahead of time. Then choose thoughts that create this emotion. Thoughts like:
- I get to show up as myself on dates
- There’s no right or wrong way to behave – only how I want to behave
- My man loves me for me
In my 1-1 coaching program, I help successful women find their ideal partners by helping them show up in a way that feels natural and authentic. I’d love to see if my program is right for you. Schedule a consultation now – I only have 2 spots in my program left!