When’s the last time you had fun on a date? What was different about it?
So many times, I hear women offer up the statement, “dating is hard,” as if it’s a fact of life. But it’s not. There is nothing inherently hard about dating.
The reason dating feels hard is because you’re making it hard by the way you’re thinking about it. You’re seeing it as a meaningless chore. What if, instead, dating is a fun and temporary part of your life – one that’s preparing you to meet the one.
Here are some common beliefs that successful women have that make the dating process harder – and some equally viable alternatives.
1. You believe the whole experience of dating is uncomfortable
All of it. Everything from putting yourself out there, to sifting and sorting through profiles, to communicating with potential prospects and going on dates, to saying goodbye.
This whole experience is uncomfortable for you. But what if it wasn’t?
By changing how you think about a situation, you change your entire experience of it.
Try this on: You get to be you in this world. Everyone but “the one” will eventually not want you; this is great news, because you don’t want them. With every no, you’re one step closer to yes. You can’t get it wrong. If you choose to reach out to someone, or if someone is reaching out to you, there’s something valuable for you to learn from that interaction.
Every interaction on your road to true love is a critical step in the process. It’s not a waste of time. Which brings us to belief #2.
2. You believe dating takes up precious time (that you don’t have)
You’re a busy woman. You don’t have time to waste on dating no’s. So don’t.
Don’t kid yourself. At this stage of the game, you can talk to someone and figure out in 5m if he’s life partner material. It takes another 5m to learn from that interaction and grow and change for next time. This is valuable, well-spent time that’s getting you closer to true love. Every minute after that – spent second-guessing and pretending to be confused – is wasted time.
Don’t lie to yourself. You’re great at time management; you can make dating efficient. Your date can’t waste your time, only you can. As soon as you learn he’s not the one, say goodbye and move on.
3. You’re not convinced dating will even work
If you’re not convinced the dating process will even work, you’re not going to go all in on it. When you don’t go all in on it, you make the process not work for you. This makes dating hard.
See the difference? It’s not that the dating process itself is hard, it’s that you’ve made it hard by how you’ve chosen to think about it.
Say you’re not convinced your person exists, or that it will take too long to find him. When you think this, you probably show up reserved on dates. You don’t showcase your amazing personality, or get to know your date because you’ve already decided he’s likely not the one. You don’t even give yourself a chance at love.
The only way for the dating process to work for you is to decide that it works for you. Decide that it works for you.
I’ve Got You
I know I’m not going to fully convince you that dating isn’t hard in one article. That’s why I coach you. We’re in this together every step of the way – we sift and sort through potential partners together. I offer the unbiased perspective you need to have the clarity to decide yes or no. I teach you how to say goodbye in a way that serves both of you.
Dating isn’t hard. I know it because after 10 years of suffering in love, finding my husband was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I did it. You can do it too. My process works for everyone. You are not the exception.
To find out more, schedule a free consultation, and we’ll chat about how I can help you find your life partner.