You’re on a first date. You’re current on the latest dating advice and how to present yourself.
You’re well-read on what to say and what not to say to keep his interest. You know to stay away from messy foods, or anything that might be a turn-off. You plan to not finish your whole meal, even if you’re still hungry, and you definitely won’t take any leftovers home. You’re going to show just enough interest to keep him interested, but not so much that he finds you needy.
Sounds like you have it all figured out… if you’re looking to attract Average Joe.
You and I both know you’re not. It’s all or nothing for you. It’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of, or no one. You’re out to attract that fiery, feel-it-the-depths-of-your-soul love. The only thing that’s going to attract that kind of love, is you. The real you.
The reason none of the dating advice is working is because your life partner isn’t attracted to what you do, he’s attracted to who you are. Here’s how to stop hustling and start attracting. It’s so much easier.
Arrive Whole and Complete in Who You Are
To attract your life partner, arrive to the date whole and complete in who you are. He is attracted to who you are as a person. Your job is to show him who you are by showing up as yourself. You teach him how to love you by demonstrating your love for yourself.
- Hustling looks like, “I need to do something to get you to be attracted to me, because then I’ll be whole and complete.”
- Attracting looks like, “I need nothing from you because I am whole and complete, just as I am.”
Stop Hustling for Affection and Be Affectionate
The only reason you hustle for someone else’s affection, is because you believe that you need it. You don’t. Whether or not your date likes you changes nothing about you, your worth, or your prospects of finding true love.
Instead, fulfil your own need for affection by loving the heck out of yourself. Your date will see it and will want in on it. When you no longer need affection, because you’re fulfilling the need for yourself, you will no longer hustle for it.
- Hustling looks like, “I need to do something to get your affection, because then I’ll be attractive.”
- Attracting looks like, “I’m attractive because of who I am, and nothing you do or say can change that.”
Know Your Worth and Where It Comes From
You are worthy, period. You were born worthy. There’s a primal part of your brain that likes to suggest you’re not. It does that because it’s trying to keep you safe, so you don’t get new, big, scary ideas that put you in harm’s way. It means well, but in this case, it’s not helpful.
You are worthy because you are alive. Our brains and other peoples’ brains (aka society) like to suggest that your worth comes from outside of you – how beautiful you are, what you wear, who likes you, how many people like you. They’re all wrong.
- Hustling looks like, “I need to do something to get you to like me, because then I’ll be worthy.”
- Attraction looks like, “I am worthy.”
The difference between hustling and attracting is where you’re looking to for your sense of worth and well-being. Is it to yourself, or is it to others? When you look to others, you’re hustling. When you look to yourself, you’re attracting. Attraction happens from the inside out.
Attracting true love is so much easier and so much more effective than hustling for love.
In my program, Find Your Life Partner, I help women attract their life partners from the inside out. It’s incredible to watch. I’d love to help you change from a hustle to an attract mindset. Schedule a free consultation now and we’ll see if my program is right for you.