I’m not sure exactly when and where I picked up the belief that life should be hard. Like, who decided that was a good idea? I certainly wasn’t born with it.
I still remember as a kid being enraptured with every moment of life. Just yesterday I was reminded of being seven on my very first cruise. I spent an entire day – eight hours straight – in the small, salty pool onboard the ship. For the joy of swimming.
That’s what life used to be like. Effortless and fun. I have since kicked the adopted belief to the curb. I’m back to believing what seven-year-old me hadn’t yet forgotten: that life is supposed to be fun.
We can have all our dreams and enjoy the process too.
I can hear some of you now – I don’t know, I want to believe that but it feels like a stretch. What about all the bad stuff? That’s totally fine to have those thoughts. That’s why you’re here. You’re here because a part of you, however small, knows there’s another way. You’ve done the grind. You’ve hustled your butt off to get everything you have. You’ve worked and earned and suffered. You’ve known so much suffering that joy feels like such a distant dream.
I’m here to let you know that it’s closer than you think. And it can start right now.
I spent the last decade of my life doing the hustle – sifting, sorting, suffering, and slowly figuring it out. I’m here now because I want to share the beautiful product of that decade in hopes that it will help ease someone else’s suffering. It’s what I’m calling my “Four-Step Formula.” And if you follow it, it will change your entire experience of life, just like it’s doing mine.
Are you ready?
Here’s my not-so-secret sauce on how to enjoy creating the life of your dreams.
Step 1: Get to know you
There’s the you you’ve imagined in your head. There’s the you you show to the world. There’s the you you post on social media. Then there’s you.
The you who grew up knowing you are a limitless creator. The you who had dreams and no doubts that you could achieve them. The you who expressed yourself in all the ways that came naturally and didn’t care who was watching. The you that, when you close your eyes and quiet your mind, tells you her deepest desires.
That’s the you we want to get to know. You have a beautiful personality. You were born with gifts. You were born a genius in your unique way. Get in there and get to know that you. Reconnect with yourself. Rekindle your relationship with you. Let the real you out. Let her speak her truth. Let her dream her wildest dreams. Set her free.
Action is a very important part of creation. It’s what “seals the deal” with the universe. It’s what confidently declares, “This is who I am and this is what I want.” You’re doing it all the time, whether you’re aware of it or not. You’re doing it right now. Might as well start doing it on purpose!
Step 1’s action is to decide who you are and what you want.
The joy of reconnecting with yourself is like coming home. You will begin to develop an inner peace that is unlike anything you can achieve through the mind. The predominant experience of step 1 is peace.
Step 2: Clean up all the crap you’ve built around you
I said it’d be fun, I didn’t say it doesn’t involve work! Here’s where we do the work. It’s thought cleanup time!
If you’re alive, you have a belief system. It’s very elaborate. Your belief system is the collection of thoughts you’ve picked up throughout your life that you have decided are true. This belief system defines your thoughts and feelings about the circumstances of your life.
If you want to change your life, you have to change your thoughts about your life.
These are all the things you think you should or have to be. All the expectations that were placed on you that you adopted as your truth. All the limiting beliefs that stand in the way of that thing you decided you want. If the thoughts don’t line up with who you choose to be, clean ‘em up! It’s a slow and steady process that might feel insurmountable some days, but you can do it.
Step 2’s action is to make the changes within yourself that line up with who you are and what you want.
We are literally sculpting our brains. We’re defining new neural pathways in the brain by changing our thought patterns. What we’re ultimately doing is creating space in the mind for clarity. We’re dismantling all the belief systems that no longer serve us.
There is nothing more empowering than feeling in control of your own mind. There’s a freedom and power in digging up old belief systems and letting them go. The predominant experience of step 2 is clarity. There’s nothing so sweet.
Now that we’re home, we’re cleaning house.
Step 3: Act on the thoughts that light you up
This is where things start to get really fun! We get to act on the thoughts that feel amazing.
As you sift and sort through your belief systems, you’ll start to notice thoughts that feel light and exciting and thoughts that feel heavy and uninspiring. How those thoughts feel is your indication of how well they line up with who you are and what you want.
– let’s pause to recap –
You’ve decided what you want. You’ve made changes within yourself to align your beliefs with what you want. Now it’s time to demonstrate to the universe that you want what you say you want by acting in a way that is consistent with that. How do we do it? We act on the thoughts that light us up!
These are the thoughts that burn inside of you that never seem to go away. They’re the ones that feel easy and effortless because they live at the core of who you are. They’re the ones that give meaning and purpose to your life. They’re the ones that make you excited to wake up in the morning and get after. They’re the ones that feel like you.
Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it’s realistic or not.
Deepak Chopra
Step 3’s action is to act on the thoughts that line up with what you want.
Step 3 is about making conscious decisions that align with who you are and what you want. This sends a clear and consistent vibrational message to the universe. Your dreams are made of passion and excitement and joy. Line up with that energy by acting on the thoughts that make you feel that way when you think them.
Changing on the inside is half of creation. The other half is demonstrating the change on the outside by behaving in a way that is consistent with the change you have made within yourself.
Not only is it a joy to act on these types of thoughts, but by taking action your entire experience of life will start to change. This is when the magic starts to happen. The predominant experience of step 3 is joy.
Step 4: Let the Universe do its job
Step 4 is my favorite. It’s my favorite because it’s the most effortless step, yet also the one most of us have the hardest time with. Which means it’s a challenge and an opportunity for growth!
Step 4’s action is simply to let go.
That’s it. That’s literally it. Once we’ve lined up with what we want – in thought, word, and action – all that’s left to do is to let go.
There’s no forcing other people to see it our way. There’s no rearranging the artifacts of life so that we can feel better. There’s no going out there and making external circumstances be a certain way. (This, by the way, is how I used to operate… it’s what I call the “bulldozer” mode… I was quite effective at it in my time.)
There’s just letting go. That’s all that’s required of you. Let the universe work the way it’s designed to. By letting go, you allow synchronicity to flow.
Psychologist Dr. Kirby Surprise has done a lot of research in this area. In an interview with Surprise, New Dawn Magazine summarizes:
His research reveals that what we believe and the way we look for patterns in the world generates synchronistic events that mirror our own assumptions. By decoding the science of synchronicity, Dr. Kirby uncovered how we actually create events and how we co‐create our reality.
By not stressing or forcing things to happen, we let our brains and the synchronistic events of life work for us. Instead of fighting what is, we allow what is. It’s in this allowance that we are most powerful. This is the paradox.
When you’re in the flow of step 4, you’re having a wildly fun and effortless time. Things start flowing faster than your mind can keep up with, it seems. Because you’re not trying to do the universe’s job. The beauty of step 4 is that you no longer have to stress about orchestrating all the events of your life – your life just works! The predominant experience of step 4 is flow.
If there were a step 5, it would be see step 1…
This process is iterative. At no point are you ever “done.” That’s why I focus so much on the experience of creating the life of your dreams. Because you’re never done creating. There will always be bigger, grander, wilder dreams. We are creators! We came to create. We are powerful beyond our wildest dreams.
The power of the universe is at our thought-tips. We have arrived. We are here. We are home. Let’s build the biggest, grandest, wildest castle our imaginations can dream. But seriously, let’s please have fun doing it!
Like the four-step formula? Stick around! I’m building an entire program around it! Each blog post will be geared in some way towards supporting or elaborating on this process. So stay tuned! There’s so much more to come. <3